Can I Select the Family?

You have every right to choose the adopting family that you feel would be best for your baby and the right to be only as involved as you want in the selection.  You can be involved every step of the way or you may be one of the many birth parents who prefer not to exercise this right and thus choose not to be involved with the selection of the adopting family. The information below will discuss your options in more detail.

The simple answer is yes you can choose the family your child is placed with.  But this simple answer does not tell the whole story.

We have found that many birth parents actually prefer not to be overly involved in the selection of the adopting family. Often many of the birth mothers and birth fathers do not want to be so involved that they review profiles or meet the family.  They just want to decide the family should be of a certain religion, or should have a minimum level of income, or are in a stable marriage, live in a good neighborhood, or believe in higher education and will have the financial resources to send their child to college, or have some other requirement.

Many birth parents only want to know that the adopting persons are healthy, have a good income and will love the child as their own, while other birth parents decide to meet the adopting persons for lunch or dinner and get to know them and then make a decision about the family.  They may even decide to go to doctor visits together, talk on the telephone and/or write to each other, and actually be together at the hospital when the baby is born or be together right after the birth of the baby.

The only limitations on choosing the family are those that your state of residence has and what you want.  However, many adoption agencies and adoption attorneys try to add their own restrictions by only doing open adoptions or only closed adoptions and insisting that you choose and meet the family or insisting that you can not meet the family.

Accordingly, it is important that you select an agency that gives you as many options as are legal in your state.  Remember, with the exception of the legal limitations of your state of residence, you have all the choices including the option of not choosing to exercise your rights and options.

After working with birth mothers and birth fathers for almost 40 years we have found that no two birth parents want to proceed in the same way.  Each birth mother and birth father has a different set of desires and requirements for the adoption process.  Accordingly, we at Adoption Services have developed a style and method that can suit any birth parent. 

With caring and true concern we carefully listen to all your thoughts and desires regarding the adopting family.  We then help you determine the type of family you want to adopt your child and how involved you want to be in the process. Then we go to our list of carefully pre-screened adoptive families to help find the family that matches your wishes and desires.  You can tell us to select the family or you can consider one, two or as many families as needed until you feel comfortable, knowing that each family has already passed our rigorous Home Study process. You can decide to meet or not meet the family, receive pictures and updates or not, have an open or closed adoption, and meet or not meet the family and child at some time in the future.

With our Agency the choices are all yours. We will help you as much or as little as you want. At Adoption Services we know that choosing to place your baby for adoption is a very difficult decision and that all birth mothers and birth fathers want to know that their child will be in a safe and loving home that can, and will, give the child everything he/she needs. 

For help in selecting the perfect adopting family for your child, please contact us at Adoption Services so we can review your options and help assure the adoption proceeds as you wish.