Open or Closed Adoption?

It is important that you understand the differences between an open adoption (where you share identifying information with the adopting family) and a closed adoption (where no identifying information is exchanged) and how your choice of open or closed adoption may affect you and your baby.

Many birth parents and adopting families are confused about the differences between open and closed child adoption.

In a closed child adoption, birth parents and adopting families are anonymous. While many details may be shared, no identifying information (such as last name, addresses, social security numbers, etc.) is exchanged. The birth parents and adopting family can meet, share pictures and updates, and have ongoing contact through the agency, but they do not share last names and addresses.

In an open child adoption, biological and adopting parents exchange identifying information and are then able, if they so choose, to be in direct contact with one another.

Simply stated, an open child adoption is when the family knows your last name, address, and phone number, and you know this information about the family. A closed child adoption is when the identifying information is not exchanged.

It is that simple. It has nothing to do with whether you get pictures, meet the family, get updates, or see your child and the family on an ongoing basis. You can have a closed child adoption and still meet the family and get pictures and updates, but you will not know their last names or how to contact them. Or you can have an open child adoption and choose to receive or not receive pictures and updates. So the real issue for you should not be an open or closed child adoption, but what type of contact you want with the family and your child.

Whether a child adoption is open or closed will depend on what you want, what your state allows, and what child adoption agency you select. With some child adoption agencies, they will not give you a choice. The adoption agency will tell you what you must choose. With Adoption Services, you can choose whether you want an open or closed child adoption.

Rest assured, however, that with either an open or a closed child adoption, you can probably exchange as much or as little information as you would wish. This can be handled by the child adoption agency. Adoption Services has extensive experience with both open and closed child adoption and is here to help you make the best choice for you and your child. We will help you custom-design the arrangements so that they meet with your wishes and desires.

The following information has been adapted from the Child Welfare Information Gateway (CWIG) fact-sheet entitled Openness in Adoption.

What is open adoption?

An open, or fully disclosed, child adoption allows adoptive parents, and often the adopted child, to interact directly with birth parents. Family members interact in ways that feel most comfortable to them. Communication may include letters, e-mails, telephone calls, or visits. The frequency of contact is negotiated and can range from every few years to several times a month or more. Contact often changes as a child grows and has more questions about his or her adoption or as families' needs change. It is important to note that even in an open child adoption, the legal relationship between a birth parent and child is severed. The adoptive parents are the legal parents of an adopted child.

The goals of open adoption are:

Is open adoption right for our family?

Open child adoption is just one of several openness options available to birth parents and families, ranging from confidential, to semi-open (or mediated), to fully open child adoption. In a semi-open or mediated child adoption, contact between birth and adoptive families is made through a mediator (e.g., an agency caseworker or attorney) rather than directly. In a totally closed (confidential) child adoption no contact takes place and no identifying information is exchanged.

Making an open child adoption work requires flexibility and a commitment to ongoing relationships, despite their ups and downs. While this type of child adoption is not right for every birth mother and family, open child adoption can work well if everyone wants it and if there is good communication, flexibility, commitment to the process, respect for all parties involved, and commitment to the child's needs above all.

Open adoption questions to be considered.

In an open child adoption, families need to consider when and how much to tell a child about his or her birth family, and then if and how to involve him or her in that relationship. An adoption professional can help you address some of these issues. Some of the questions you may want to consider include:

Open adoption resources

There are many resources available to help you determine what level of openness might be best for you. The CWIG website includes the following websites:

Minnesota/Texas Adoption Research Project provides information on a longitudinal study of openness in child adoption since 1985. The most recent wave included a total of 720 individuals: both parents in 190 adoptive families, at least one adopted child in 171 of the families, and 169 birth mothers.

Cooperative (Open) Adoption Laws provides laws for each State on open (sometimes called "cooperative") child adoption, compiled by CWIG.

Insight: Open Adoption Resources and Support offers open child adoption resources for professionals and support for child adoptive and birth parents considering open child adoption.

The CWIG also includes the following books as references:

"Children of Open Adoption" by Patricia Martinez Dorner and Kathleen Silber (1997, Independent Adoption Press). The topics in this book include the essential "ingredients" for successful open child adoption and communication tips for talking about open child adoption with children of all ages.

"How to Open an Adoption" by Patricia Martinez Dorner (1998, R-Squared Press). This book gives guidance to child adoptive parents, birth parents, and child adoption professionals in how to navigate more inclusive relationships.

"Lifegivers: Framing the Birth Parent Experience in Open Adoption" by James L. Gritter (2000, CWLA Press). This book examines the ways birth parents are marginalized. The author makes the point that adopted children are best served when birth parents and adoptive parents work together to ensure that birth parents remain in children's lives.

"The Open Adoption Experience" by Lois Ruskai Melina and Sharon Kaplan Roszia (1993, Harper Perennial). This complete guide for adoptive and birth parents touches on almost every aspect of open child adoption.

"The Spirit of Open Adoption" by Jim Gritter (1997, CWLA Press). This book gives a realistic look at the joys and pains of open child adoption for birth parents, adoptees, and adoptive parents.

"What is Open Adoption?" by Brenda Romanchik (1999, R-Squared Press). Written from the perspective of a birth mother in an open child adoption, this pocket guide provides concise information and resources.

No one level of "closedness" or "openness" in a child adoption is best for every birth parent and adoptee.  Closed adoptions and open adoptions both can be done in a healthy way so the the birth parents and child do not experience unnecessary emotional difficulties.  Your adoption agency and adoption counselor should be able to help you structure the adoption is the way that is best for you and your child. 

If you need help or additional information please feel free to contact us at Adoption Services by phone or email 24 hours a day.  Our services are always free to pregnant women and birth mothers.